its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
