You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Every concussion has its silver lining
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
A+ Viking dick
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
