The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
