i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
