You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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