apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
