My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
