Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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