I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm both gender and math confused
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
