think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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