SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We need to get me chipped asap
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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