Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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