Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
