Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
