the condom got lost in my hair
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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