Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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