singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
