she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize