the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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