just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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