So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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