I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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