dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
