I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
