TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
