Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
