Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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