She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
