I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize