just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
