im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize