Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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