I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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