I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
