Jerry, you need to find god
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
honey bunches of taint.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize