i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Randomize
