make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
