I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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