Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
