i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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