I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am spending my child support on dildos
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
