one might say we're banned from that church
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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