thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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