I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
