Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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