You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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