He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
