Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
