I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize