Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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