I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
