You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We're using joints as your birthday candles
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
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