That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
