hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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