sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
