roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
