I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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