she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
