That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
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