awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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