And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
