I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
