Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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