He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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