my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Sober January is a disaster.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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