dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
