similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
