sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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